Our STORY

Our life started together, we met in October 1997 and decided almost straight away that we were meant to be together so we got married in August 1998.

We decided straight away to try for a baby which took us until September 1999 and we were over the moon, but it was short lived we found out November that year that I was having a threatened miscarriage and was told to go home and rest.

It was Christmas eve and I lost our 1st baby and had a D & C Boxing day, but it didn’t end there I was taken back in New Years Eve because not everything had been removed, we were told I would need another D & C. Another consultant came along and said there was a tablet that would expel the last of it, so this is what we did and it worked.

We then decided we would get on with our lives, and we moved house and I got a full time job. As the weeks passed we noticed my period hadn’t come and yes you’ve guessed it I was pregnant again but this time the doctor signed me off sick because of previous miscarriages and my husband took over my job.

I was scanned at regular intervals and luckily managed to carry our 1st son.

18 months went by and we decided to try for another baby, but again shortly after we were over joyed we lost yet another baby but this time no D & C , it was a complete miss, but we were still heart broken.

We then left trying again as it was getting too painful with each loss, but we still longed for another baby together. We fell pregnant again by shock and were excited but so worried and we had every right to be worried we went for our 12 week scan and were told there was no heart beat we were devastated, I had tablets to expel the pregnancy but haemorrhaged and after delivering our baby at 12 ½ weeks I was rushed to theatre and needed a blood transfusion, we just couldn'’t get our heads around losing yet another baby. We were offered tests to see why it was happening and nothing showed up so our consultant advised trying to take aspirin if ever I fell pregnant but we didn’t want anymore after this time.

We did end up pregnant again and the aspirin worked we had a lovely baby boy we felt overwhelmed and complete.

Just before our little boy turned 1 year old we found out I was expecting again and everything was so rosy until our 19 week scan when were told our baby had died, we couldn'’t get our heads around this as I was on aspirin. We were absolutely distraught and we were told we would have to deliver the baby which I did on 8th July 2006. We delivered a beautiful baby boy who to us and the midwives looked so perfect, he looked so peaceful and we felt joy at having chance to see him but sorrow at the same time as we knew that he was no longer with us, we had him blessed at the hospital and named him Ethan Jay. We are still trying to come to terms with our loss and it will probably always be there but with time hopefully won't hurt us as much. We have a burial for him next week which we are both dreading as it makes it all so final that our little boy has gone. We have had more tests done to see why it’s happened but have not had any results as yet, but will keep you posted on this site...

I have also had 2 early miscarriages to my previous husband which were no easier than the late ones, so in total I have had 6 miscarriages. This is so painful, yet we all have the need to fill an empty gap in our lives with a baby and not to replace a lost one but just to have a baby in our hearts and arms that we can love and nurture. The pain is no less by us waiting weeks than it is if we wait years to try to concieve again, it is upto the individual when they are ready to try again as long as there is no medical reason preventing this. My heart is with all you parents out there going through the same as us......

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